Chronic Illness: Disappointment and Letting People Down

Apologies for the radio silence. The last month or so has been difficult health wise. As such, I thought it would be worth writing about chronic illness and how it can affect your social life. Not only is it disappointing to miss out on things that you’ve been looking forward to, but it’s such a horrible feeling to let people down. Frustratingly, I find that one of my most used phrases is ‘Can we reschedule?’ and I’ve certainly been having to use it a lot recently.

The weekend just passed was a close friend’s hen do. I’d been looking forward to it for months and had been excited that it was getting closer. Unfortunately, last week I got tonsillitis and as such the rest of my body joined in with various other symptoms, causing me to be bed bound. When one thing goes wrong, everything else goes wrong too.

I was completely gutted to have to miss it – I really wanted to be there to celebrate with my friend and to get to know the other bridesmaids. I felt awful for not being there and letting my friend down, especially as the lovely Maid of Honour had really gone out of her way to make sure that everything was accessible for me (at a previous hen do, the bride forgot to tell the MoH that I was in a wheelchair, so I couldn’t join in with most of the activities, which sucked).

No-one wants to be the unreliable friend who cancels at the last minute, and I fear that that’s me. Of course my close friends understand – they know what it’s like for me. But do others understand? Do they just think I’m flaky or lazy? I always try to give people enough notice so that it doesn’t inconvenience them, but sometimes I convince myself that I’ll be fine, and then reality only hits the night before (or even on the day) that I won’t be. It’s quite a tricky situation to navigate.

What are your thoughts and experiences? I know that anyone with a chronic illness will have to face these issues regularly.

Anyway, I’ve had to cancel everything this week to try to get better but I’m really hoping that I’ll be ok by the weekend. Next Monday is mine and Jakob’s seven year anniversary, so the plan is to celebrate on Saturday. Fingers crossed that things will be more under control by then!

Thea xxx

 

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A Week in the Country

Last week I went to visit my Mum in her new home in Kent. She lives in a lovely little hamlet called Conyer, which pretty much just has a pub and a sailing club (Conyer Creek flows into the River Swale).

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My poor Mum has been poorly for a while now and is still trying to battle off a nasty bug so it was generally a very chilled out week. I took the opportunity to rest and catch up on some cross-stitching. Thankfully the weather was beautiful and so I was able to relax in the garden and finally get some sun.

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My brother, Rich, came to join us on Thursday, so a fair amount of take away was consumed and movies watched! On Friday a couple of my Mum’s friends came to stay, which ended up in us having a lovely meal at the local pub – The Ship.

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The weekend was absolutely wonderful as Jakob drove down late on Friday night after work, so that we would have as much time together as possible. He is such a gem. On Saturday, we were once again blessed with good weather, so after a lovely lie in, we skipped off to Faversham to visit the market.

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Faversham is just the most adorable market town that happily happens to be only a short drive from Conyer. After eventually finding somewhere to park (we cleverly left the Blue Badge in Mum’s car!), we eagerly made our way to the market place to explore the stalls. I discovered that they have an amazing range of fabrics there, so naturally spent all of my money on pretty patterns for future projects! There was lots of tasty food on offer, so we indulged in a delicious Madagascan lunch from one of the stalls, before heading off to Standard Quay. There are several antique and vintage shops there, so naturally I checked them out for any bargains. We also decided to get ourselves a cute little olive tree to put on the balcony. This was followed by ice creams in the sun by the boats… it was utterly gorgeous.

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Once we got back to the house, we spent the rest of the day relaxing in the garden. In the evening Jakob kindly treated me to dinner at The Ship, where I appear to have now become a ‘regular’. The food was wonderful and it was so special to have that time together. Jakob has only recently finished studying part-time, which he was doing on top of his full-time job; so it suddenly feels like we have so much more time together now that he doesn’t spend his weekends in the library!

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Sunday morning called for a cooked breakfast so we once more headed down to The Ship. It certainly set us up for the day, thankfully, as the journey back was rather brutal. Fortunately we left relatively early so we didn’t get back too late, but the afternoon and evening was consequently spent resting at home!

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I’m so pleased that I was able to do so much. Unfortunately I have been dislocating my shoulders a lot more often, but generally my energy levels have been pretty good so that’s nice! Now I’m spending my week recovering, so that hopefully I can have another fun filled weekend ahead…

Thea xx

Being in a Wheelchair… and Getting Fat

I’ve been in a wheelchair since June 2014 and one of the things I’ve found hard to get used to is putting on weight. Annoyingly my appetite hasn’t changed, but my levels of activity have. It might seem silly to some to be bothered by this, in the grand scheme of things, but it’s just something I still haven’t really adjusted to.

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It is SO easy to put on weight. You don’t realise how much exercise you do just by being able to walk, until you can’t do it anymore. Of course, it makes sense that if you have an entirely sedentary life that you put weight on more easily, but I felt like I had a very sedentary lifestyle in the few years before using a wheelchair anyway. However, even just walking to the loo or to the kitchen all makes a difference!

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I know that tons of people battle with their weight who are not in wheelchairs. I just wanted to write about it because it is something that I really noticed changing whilst adjusting to my new way of life. At first it really snuck up on me and it’s just a frustrating thing to have to deal with in addition to all the other things that inevitably change.

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Anyway, thankfully, I’m happy with my body and its shape. I just need to keep it in check to make sure I don’t get toooooo cuddly!

Thea xxx