Chronic Illness: Disappointment and Letting People Down

Apologies for the radio silence. The last month or so has been difficult health wise. As such, I thought it would be worth writing about chronic illness and how it can affect your social life. Not only is it disappointing to miss out on things that you’ve been looking forward to, but it’s such a horrible feeling to let people down. Frustratingly, I find that one of my most used phrases is ‘Can we reschedule?’ and I’ve certainly been having to use it a lot recently.

The weekend just passed was a close friend’s hen do. I’d been looking forward to it for months and had been excited that it was getting closer. Unfortunately, last week I got tonsillitis and as such the rest of my body joined in with various other symptoms, causing me to be bed bound. When one thing goes wrong, everything else goes wrong too.

I was completely gutted to have to miss it – I really wanted to be there to celebrate with my friend and to get to know the other bridesmaids. I felt awful for not being there and letting my friend down, especially as the lovely Maid of Honour had really gone out of her way to make sure that everything was accessible for me (at a previous hen do, the bride forgot to tell the MoH that I was in a wheelchair, so I couldn’t join in with most of the activities, which sucked).

No-one wants to be the unreliable friend who cancels at the last minute, and I fear that that’s me. Of course my close friends understand – they know what it’s like for me. But do others understand? Do they just think I’m flaky or lazy? I always try to give people enough notice so that it doesn’t inconvenience them, but sometimes I convince myself that I’ll be fine, and then reality only hits the night before (or even on the day) that I won’t be. It’s quite a tricky situation to navigate.

What are your thoughts and experiences? I know that anyone with a chronic illness will have to face these issues regularly.

Anyway, I’ve had to cancel everything this week to try to get better but I’m really hoping that I’ll be ok by the weekend. Next Monday is mine and Jakob’s seven year anniversary, so the plan is to celebrate on Saturday. Fingers crossed that things will be more under control by then!

Thea xxx