Chronic Illness: Disappointment and Letting People Down

Apologies for the radio silence. The last month or so has been difficult health wise. As such, I thought it would be worth writing about chronic illness and how it can affect your social life. Not only is it disappointing to miss out on things that you’ve been looking forward to, but it’s such a horrible feeling to let people down. Frustratingly, I find that one of my most used phrases is ‘Can we reschedule?’ and I’ve certainly been having to use it a lot recently.

The weekend just passed was a close friend’s hen do. I’d been looking forward to it for months and had been excited that it was getting closer. Unfortunately, last week I got tonsillitis and as such the rest of my body joined in with various other symptoms, causing me to be bed bound. When one thing goes wrong, everything else goes wrong too.

I was completely gutted to have to miss it – I really wanted to be there to celebrate with my friend and to get to know the other bridesmaids. I felt awful for not being there and letting my friend down, especially as the lovely Maid of Honour had really gone out of her way to make sure that everything was accessible for me (at a previous hen do, the bride forgot to tell the MoH that I was in a wheelchair, so I couldn’t join in with most of the activities, which sucked).

No-one wants to be the unreliable friend who cancels at the last minute, and I fear that that’s me. Of course my close friends understand – they know what it’s like for me. But do others understand? Do they just think I’m flaky or lazy? I always try to give people enough notice so that it doesn’t inconvenience them, but sometimes I convince myself that I’ll be fine, and then reality only hits the night before (or even on the day) that I won’t be. It’s quite a tricky situation to navigate.

What are your thoughts and experiences? I know that anyone with a chronic illness will have to face these issues regularly.

Anyway, I’ve had to cancel everything this week to try to get better but I’m really hoping that I’ll be ok by the weekend. Next Monday is mine and Jakob’s seven year anniversary, so the plan is to celebrate on Saturday. Fingers crossed that things will be more under control by then!

Thea xxx

 

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One thought on “Chronic Illness: Disappointment and Letting People Down

  1. Awwwe, this made me sad. I know I don’t know you that we’ll… I didn’t really ever know you as I haven’t seen you since you were a tiny person in primary school but from what I do know about you pre chair (mostly social media). The person you were isn’t that distant from the person you were but less people understand you now, that’s true, you are far more than a friend with a chair. You were a determined person who studied Arabic, traveled, looked to understand and we’re interested people, the person that was there to support their poorly family. So sometimes you need a little more support now but you are still determined, you’re determined to travel. It’s harder so you travel less. You are still there for people, they might have to come to you or phone you up. You still work hard and are interested in new things they are just more stationary and intricate because they are your strengths now.
    You didn’t let your friend down. She has other who were not bed bound to take up the slack. You will be there when you can. As for had tried to make it accessible you (whilst not intentially, initially at least) you are creating a far for aware and understanding world around you. You would bot have been able to do that without being you and without your chair. You are still amazing you just have different strengths now. You could have given up on life but you haven’t and for still living not just surviving you are an inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

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